Just sharing this in case it may help somebody else struggling out there.

I guess I'm just airing my musical frustrations as a catharsis and maybe a little encouragement (not pity though).

As some may know I suffer from extreme learning disabilities. short term memory problems.
So learning songs is a herculean task for me (as well as anything else musical)

So, I try to learn/write new songs and it can take me up to 3 years to learn one song in one key. usually I can learn a song in a little over a year. I played upright for 12 years and at the end of my time after practicing 2 plus hours per day I knew 8 tunes (sort of)

meanwhile If I concentrate on new stuff I begin to lose what I have already learned.

This is where I'm at now, My practice has been on 2 new songs 1 standard and one original.
And as sit down to prepare for this afternoons gig, I find That many older tunes just aren't there anymore. It just sucks. There are times I wish I could just hang it all up.

So now I'm back to trying to remember the same old tunes, with nothing new to play.

And I can't get into the local jazz scene for lack of repertoire.

Anyway, I'm not quitting and I'm not depressed, just frustrated. My disabilities are actually what got me into music education (trying to help others) so it hasn't been all bad.

Sorry for the pity party, Just had to get it off my chest. Now back to playing music.

I'll let you know how the gig went if anyone is interested.

later
Brett

Your not alone.I go through it too.I'm not a giging musician because of it although I'll do an open mike from time to time.I find I can jam but I'll forget the tunes we did soon after.When I was young and playing in bands and we were about to play a tune,I would have to sometimes ask how it went.I studied music at Berklee for 2 years,75-77.This is what I wanted to do.Although I play every day and write,I am fustrated about it.
To all the solo artists out there,I give nothing but praise and respect.Brett,best of luck to you.I wish I had an answer for you.

Thanks Guy

There really isn't an answer. Just something we struggle with.

On a positive note I had one of my best gigs last night. All the tunes were there. My playing was clean and precise. I even played my 2 newest tunes and they went pretty well. So........... it's back to the grind for me. In a way It's nice to know I'm not alone, in another I wish I was.

Thanks
Brett

Hiya Brett.

For someone who has a learning difficulty you have such a generous attitude towards this community and towards the music. I still come back and read your introduction in the Stick book, simply because it reads so well and is a good reminder of the good stuff.

Have you thought of using your smart phone to create a practice diary. Y'Know I was just thinking of creating a post about memory last week.

I find it really helpful to think of a song then ask myself the question, do I know, without a seconds thought what the first note to such and such a song is? I think that with memory difficulty or not, retention of arrangements is still something that we all have to practice.

Just walk up to the Stick at an arbitrary moment in the day and say Song "X" ....play first line. THEN walk away from the instrument and ask yourself half a dozen times in the next 5 minutes do I remember those notes, including the frett number & string. I've extended this to include memory of each section in any given song, making sure I'm as comfortable and familiar as I can be.

Let me say, as a rhythm section artist, I'm a very confident drum kit performer, but I'm amazed at how easily I forget where I am on the Stick during performance, compared to practising at home. A drum student of mine had his first concert last night and he said the snare drum's really big..! I comes down to surface area, it's a lot harder to miss..!

I suppose it all depends on whether you've identified what kind of a student you are. Do you practice a piece from beginning to end, and is your finger memory reliant on that. That's me to an extent unfortunately, though I know I have to move away from this as I get better at improvising and interpreting a song. Are there any other ways peculiar to yourself that help you remember a piece of music. It might be something as simple as word association, like a rhyme to remember any detail in the song. That's pretty random but I'm sure you get the picture. Yoda would say PATIENCE, always emotions is the future.

Bruv Luv from

Hi Radkon
No intros written here (mixing me up with someone else?)

Writting/spelling words is also REALLY hard for me, as well as anything number related of formulaic. So I won't be writing anyones introduction.

Anyway thanks for the good advice. I am perhaps the most prolific practice diary guy (I have pages and pages). And yes I always try to figure out new ways to trigger memories and find new way to store stuff upstairs.

This goes way beyond playing music though. At any time I can forget a phone number, pin number etc. I can forget how to get to a place I've been to hundreds of times. It's been with me all my life so I've learned to write things down.
It's embarrassing when you can't remember how to spell your children's name or You are at the checkout line and don't know your pin number. But my family has learned to deal with this stuff.
It's just the emergency stuff I worry about, like knowing my son's phone number, etc.

The music stuff is just a frustration, It's dosen't stop me from making music.

believe me I'm not looking for tricks or advice, I appreciate the thought. Repetition is my best tool, after pure ear playing (which I do a lot).
It's kind of like my brain is a computer with a slower processor almost no harddrive or memory and a LOT of crashes. You can get the work done on the thing but you would like a newer model.

Brett

Brett, irrespective of your own perception, I first have to say that you are a valued contributor to this forum - our "Stick world". Your solo album is succesful on every important level; as a Stick showcase and a jazz CD that's accessible to wider audiences. Very few people can lay claim to something like this.

We humans are all slaves of our "learned behaviour" and how we worry about other people's perception of what we "are". In many cases, these images have nothing to do with who we really are, or what we're capable of. If you haven't read it, I recommend a little book called "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz. The original 70's version is cheap & easy to find, and pre-dates a whole slew of commercially-driven "self-help" books. This suggestion might seem a bit out of left-field, and may or may not be of any use to you, but worth a try. The basic premise of the book is that whatever flaws you actually have, are much lesser that you think they are. It also deals with setting definite goals, but not worrying about how to reach them. The moment we stress out too much, "bad" parts of our nervous system get involved in the thought process. I'll go out on a limb and even suggest that the "practice diary" approach might be completely wrong for you. I say "might' , because only you will ultimately be able to make that call.

Keep playing and keep us posted.

Cheers,
Andy

Thanks Andy

Interesting point of view. Don't worry I doubt I'll ever quit. I'll check the book out.

You bring up interesting points. Such as, In my case - the truth is....I have, and will continue to achieve music and self expression. So I am successful. It really dosen't matter HOW we get there, as long as we do.

And also In my case it's really other people's perception that I have a problem with, and I really shouldn't.
I stopped apoligizing about not knowing tunes years ago. If someone asks for a request and I don't know the tune I just say sorry. The only people I share my slowness with are people who I play with regularly, they need to know that learning new stuff will be a rarity. Other than that, I don't dwell on any of this stuff. I only vented because, when you take a gig, you need to be prepared and I hate not being ready. As it turned out I was this time, sometimes I'm not.

So I think you are right, I think I need to get even deeper into not caring about the perception of others.

I'm glad I was able to open up on this forum, This is really a great group of people.

Thanks
Brett

Hey Brett.

I get it now for sure. Hey, you must be the most courageous instrumentalist in the world playing Stick and having a ram issue with the grey matter.

Given with all love, humour and regard.

Thanks Guy

But nah, We all have our struggles, we all hit walls. I'm no more handicapped than anybody else. No hero here, no cripple just an average humanoid with normal struggles.

Thanks for the kind words all. Now lets drop this and get back to music.

Thanks
Brett

Hi Brett,
I had the opportunity to see you perform at seminar you hosted at the end of April. All of the teaching was excellent. Are you saying that it took you years to learn the material you and your group played that night? If so, my hat is off to you and your band for having the patience to work through it. I can't imagine the frustration you deal with, but I know people who do(deal with it, I mean). Improvisation is a route you might try. Especially if you have been able to commit your scales to muscle memory. That is probably so obvious I hate to even suggest it, but I haven't seen anyone else say it.
Anyway, I really enjoyed your playing and teaching.
Sincerely, Mike